The process of a divorce is confusing to many adults, let alone the children involved. To that end, kids often ask plenty of questions about the divorce. Some of those questions might be more specific to your family’s situation. Others may be more broad questions about love and marriage. No matter what the question is, being blindsided by a litany of them is difficult. We’re here to help with some tips on how to answer the most common questions children ask about divorce. Read on to learn all about the questions that kids love to ask.
Where Will I Live?
Ex-spouses can view this question as an opportunity to establish healthy co-parenting plans early on. No matter what the plan is, an important part of co-parenting is establishing rules with your ex-spouse and sharing that information with your children. This includes using tools such as a custody calendar. The calendar makes sure that everybody is on the same page. It is especially useful when helping younger children avoid confusion.
It is important to emphasize to your child that they will stay with one or both of their parents, depending on the custody arrangement. Nobody is taking them away, the schedule is just shifting a little.
Why Are The Rules Different With Dad Than They Are With You?
Here is another opportunity for co-parenting. This is something to try trial and error with, depending on you and your ex spouse’s personalities. While one parent may be more lenient than the other, parents need to find a middle ground to compromise on. A sense of consistency helps battle the inconsistency of divorce proceedings.
Will You And Dad/Mom Both Be At _______?
This question is simply a child asking for reassurance. Again, they are seeking consistency. They need to know that their family is still a family and that things are not falling apart. It is really important that both parents support extracurriculars, school activities, and holidays. This is another place where that co-parenting calendar really comes in handy. Make sure to put everything on there that parents are welcome to attend. You cannot force your ex-spouse to show up, but keeping them informed is an important first step.
If I’m Bad Will Mom/Dad Divorce Me Too?
Expect this question from little ones who do not know or understand what exactly divorce is. This is the perfect time to explain what exactly divorce is and what it means for your family. Tell them that you will never divorce them and provide reassurance. Explain different types of love to them: husband to wife, siblings, parent to child, friendship. Tell your children that the bond between parent and child is special and how it differs from marriage love.