For some people, the nerves before their wedding are simply anxiety. Will I trip walking down the aisle? What if I start ugly crying in front of our guests? Does the caterer have enough food for everyone? However, for some people, those nerves bely deeper misgivings about the relationship. If someone has concerns about the future with their fiancé, there is one key tip to remember. It is always going to be easier to end an engagement than a marriage.

If someone ends an engagement, they are dissolving a personal promise to another person, there is not a legal contract. A divorce is so difficult because the two parties are ending a legal contract that combines property. Read on to learn some tips on how to end an engagement with minimal.

The “Don’t”s:

  1. Going Public

The end of an engagement is already a painful thing for both parties, that hurt does not need to be made public. The person ending the engagement must respect their partner’s feelings by breaking the news somewhere private. A private place means that everybody involved can experience and express their emotions without feeling judged.

  1. Take To Social Media

For many people, social media is a place to blow off steam. However, it is never appropriate to end an engagement on social media. Nor is it acceptable to publicly post about an ex-fiancé, whether the poster ended things or got broken up with. Any negative emotions should be shared privately with family or friends.

The Process:

If you are reading this, it is likely that you have some doubts about your engagement. That is perfectly understandable, and it does not make you a bad person. Simply keep in mind that these plans are all suggestions, and every situation is different.

  1. Plan What To Say

When you end an engagement, it is totally natural for your partner to want an explanation. Make sure to plan what you want to say head of time. Do your best to use “I” statements to avoid casting blame on the other person. For example: “I need space for my mental health.” Instead of “You add stress to my life.”

  1. Return The Ring

Different states have laws about if engagement rings can be kept as gifts or not. However, it is more respectful to return the ring, even if you aren’t legally obligated to. The ring should be returned to whoever bought it, or the family that it belonged to originally.

  1. Inform Other Relevant People

This primarily includes family members and members of the wedding party. These people do not need a detailed explanation like your fiancé does. For example, “I’m not in the best place mentally, and it is not a good way to start a marriage.” Again, try and use “I” statements to avoid casting blame. Remember that you can vent to the members of your immediate family that you trust. Whoever is your usual go to can likely help you through this difficult time. However, do not allow yourself to be dissuaded, stick with your decision. It is also smart to see a mental health professional to help you process everything.